BN Crew are a band from North Dublin, Ireland. They formed in
1997 when original members, Uncle D (Dr. Edgewild), Ruddy J (Ceb)
and Dr. Leo (actual doctor) put together the album Tippin' the
album was basically a mix of Hip hop samples with a humourous
edge. At that time, the Dublin hip hop scene was mainly American
influenced lyrics and beats, with the possible exception of Scary
Éire who were the leaders in Irish hip hop at the time.
The album achieved only underground success, mainly being publicized
through word of mouth.
The BN Crew played live shows at
house parties and impromptu concerts set up in parks across Dublin.
Their lyrics attracted some media attention, mainly negative but
no record company would touch them so they tuched themselves.
Repeatedly. They continued pressing their own records throughout
the latter part of the 1990s and into the new millennium with
limited success, paying just enough to keep the band together
and producing music.
2005 was a huge year for BN Crew
after 3 years of very limited production as conflict within the
band saw a dip in the quality of production on BN tracks. This
is the year which saw the release of "Magic Lung" and
"It could be worse", both of which proved to be major
successes for the BN, the double A side single making it into
the Irish charts at number 34, impressive for an unsigned act
produced from inside a wardrobe for some reason.
October of 2005, BN Crew reached a national audience as they appeared
on Cruinneas, an Irish language program on TG4, an Irish language
station broadcast across Ireland. On this program, they played
their original single BabyKill, which is scheduled for re-release
in January 2006. It is believed that all members of the audience
that day later killed themselves.
After the buzz surrounding the multi-selling
'Where did it all go wrong?' the crew's popularity dwindled and
it's fanbase slumped to roughly three people. Regardless of this
the crew have continued working on new material and have been
known to make appearances at local record signings of other more
popular bands. Sources have indicated that BN Crew plan to release
their long awaited follow up album 'Clockwork idiots' sometime
in 2015, great.
The Full Story - By Hoffman McQueen
It all started way back
in 1991. Irwin R. Schyster was president, the advent of colour
television brought new excitement to peoples otherwise dull lives
and a fledgling band from the white ghetto area
Fresh from a night of drug abuse, three
young men became tired of the non-stop shit that assaulted their
ears on the radio every day. The first of these was Cebral, later
to change his name to Shakira and then back again within moments.
He was an unemployed exotic dancer looking for work and a change
of lifestyle. He was to become the creative force behind the BN
Leo Hernandez was his partner in crime/rhyme and between them
had amassed well over three song writing credits before they had
even met each other and, bizarrely, before they had ever written
a song. These hits included Bing Crosby's "White Christmas"
and Rodney King's "White Supremacy". Dr. Leo was a Latino
kid who had grown up in a racist area of Marino known as 'South
Central'. His hispanic background shows itself in his unique style
of flow known in certain circles as 'Latino Heat'.
The last member present on that
fateful night was Doctor Edgewild, a fabled nazi sympathizer and
media pundit. His overtly racist attitude and constant need for
rebellion often led to conflict with Dr. Leo, often leading to
These three were to be the backbone
of the BN Crew in it's early days and were responsible for their
first album; the eclectic "Tippin' the Cow". A mix of
urban junglist beats and big band style anthems. Upon it's release,
"Tippin'" became an instant classic outselling its nearest
chart rival (Guns n Roses - Use your Illusion II) by almost three
to one. It secured the number one spot on the 5th of August 1993
and stayed on top of the charts for three months before finally
being unseated from its throne by Chacka Demus and Pliers with
their hit "Times
of Dubh Linn were about to break down the walls of a dying music
scene. That band were the Buttnuggets Crew - later to become the
BNC. This is their courageous story.
During this time, singles such as "Alcopop"
and "Fuck you & the whore you rode in on" gained
infamy as the first songs to appear on national radio to deal
with the subjects of underage drinking and prostitution. Amazingly,
it wasn't until January of 1994 that people realized that the
lyrics were in fact in favour of both and indeed promoting both
as acceptable activities in which to be involved. The streets
were flooded with underage drinkers and underage hookers, much
to the excitement of the members of the BN Crew. However not everybody
enjoyed this new 'Golden Age'.
Music stores right across the nation
tore down BN crew posters from their walls. CDs were collected
and burned in mass burnings led by the 'Society for Understanding,
Compassion and Hamhead'. These self styled moral guardians of
the nation waged war against the BNC claiming that they were corrupting
the youth and promoting unacceptable behaviour. The BN responded
to these wild accusations with ignorant force, burning down churches,
hassling shopkeepers and abusing the elderly, often while chanting
some of their now infamous war cries which included - Eoin Hanton
2B, football and free wallet.
The public began to turn against
the BN Crew, deeming them mindless thugs. The BN responded with
mindless thuggery. But it was still clear that the BN needed some
musical longevity as Dr. Leo and Dr. Edgewild's intense creative
rivalry was reaching titanic proportions.
was a time bomb waiting to be dumped on. Cebral saw this danger
and decided to inject some new life into the throbbing veins of
the BNC. He called on his long time friend and former dance partner
The Toolbox. Toolbox had an almost unnatural rhythm and ability
to spot a chart hit in the making. Two of the BN Crew's most successful
tracks "B & Snippy" and "B's chewing tobacco"
were written and produced by Toolbox and Cebral giving the hard-core
BN fanbase something new. This year also saw the release of the
now infamous "B" ep from which the afforementioned offerings
It was not all plain sailing
for this new look BN lineup however. Toolbox had an eating disorder
which meant that he had to have his stomach pumped and his bowels
cleaned almost weekly. This was a $4000 treatment which ate into
the BN's funds considerably and caused great tension within the
band, especially among the two other original members.
To attract a younger audience, the
BN employed the help of a childrens entertainer known at the time
as "cool hand Luke".
'Quickfist' as he liked to be called
became the acceptable public face of the BNC often enjoying the
limelight during interviews. He lived his life in the fast lane
and became a fixture on the Hollywood party scene, regularly chartering
the BN's private jet to fly him or his ladyfriends to a social
event half way around the globe.
His striking looks and imposing physique
graced the covers of hundreds of teen girl magazines and more
than a few men's 'special intrest' magazines. His love of the
high life however often left him strung out on the day of an important
gig, leaving his bandmates to explain his absence to expectant
fans. The BNC, now
a fivepiece needed to cement their reputation as the greatest
band on Earth with a Christmas number one, however laziness and
time off for creche raids meant that Christmas day came and the
BN had failed to record thier single "Christmas Log"
in time. It was finally recorded and released in January. It sold
in record numbers and there were many calls to move Christmas
itself to coincide with whenever the BN could be bothered to release
This whole episode showed how much
power the BN had at the height of their success. Governments granted
them immunity from criminal prosecution in an attempt to harness
the power of the youth vote. The police turned a blind eye to
their murderous rampages and it is even believed that they were
behind the LA riots, the Holocaust and the bog washing of Ian
Beale. In fact, many people believe that the BN are responsible
for the majority of the unexplained dissappearances in the world.
Unfortunately, the high rolling
life that the BN had been leading began to take its toll on the
band members and before long tensions within the band started
overshadowing the music and spilled over into public appearances.
Newspapers and music magazines around the world got on this tension
like flies on shite. The notorious
Dr. Leo, as he insisted on being called, became involved in many
other projects in 1997. His hideous face was plastered across
the music industry's most exclusive magazines. In every interview
he talked of his solo projects and other bands, referring to the
BN crew as "a bunch of soulless inbred amateurs incapable
of functioning without the notorious one" (Rolling Stone
interview - 12/7/97).
Understandably the BN hit back by
administering a savage beating to seven of Dr. Leo's eight bastard
sons, confining them all to wheelchairs. Dr. Leo was at he height
of his creative peak and his Latino flows were taking the world
His infidelity to BN resulted in
several reprimands by the crew and more than one vicious assault.
It is widely believed that he received over fifty broken bones
at the hands of the BN members during the later months of 1997.
It was clear that the BN were heading for difficulties.
It was around this time that the
most disturbing BN trend of all came to the fore. Due to the innovative
nature of the crew's music, several tracks featuredco-collaborators
from the world of hip-hop, organised crime and pro-wrestling.
These co-collaborators became known as the BN all-stars and often
attended awards shows uninvited and with the sole intention of
injuring and/or offending.
The all-stars included BN favourites
like Gaidan, Hambone, The Muinteoir and Danz, among many others.
These brought an interesting edge to the BN's music but also an
interesting array of weapons with them to public places. The re-popularisation
of the knuckle duster is widely attributed to Danz who is currently
picking up dropped soap in the Tampa Bay correctional institute.
the All-stars added a significant creative influx to the BN and
kept their sound fresh but experts agree that they probably did
more damage than they did good. The all-stars would often gather
groups of fans together from outside BN stageshows with the promise
of meeting the band. Once inside the venue, they would force these
fans (both male and female, under age and over) into unspeakable
acts of depravity. When confronted by promoters or police, they
regularly used bats and chains as a form of response. It got to
the stage where they were banned from BN gigs by the BN themselves
leading to infighting amongst the orligina as to who would fill
in the all-stars verses.
Dr. Leo spent most of 1998 in rehabilitation
at the 'medical facility for Latin rap meisters' in Ohio. During
this time, most of the material being released by the BN was slated
by critics as dull and unimaginative. It appeared that without
Fleo's rhymes, the BNC were nothing.
Despite a number of hit singles,
1998 was a lean year for the BN. Quickfist Luke spent a considerable
portion of that year incarcerated and under investigation for
his part in a plot to assassinate the already dead US President
John F. Kennedy. Toolbox often missed scheduled recording sessions
to reignite his love affair with the erotic dance circuit. Dr.
Edgewild, now devoid of a nemesis with Leo in traction, picked
random fights at award shows, banquets and even charity auctions.
Cebral found himself alone at press releases and public meetings,
often having to explain the absences of his bandmates to the waiting
media who seemed all too eager to turn on the once golden goose
of the music business.
The fans were growing tired of the
BN's renegade ways and record sales slumped. 'Tippin the cow'
became a bargain basement filler and their videos were all but
dropped from MTV's playlists. It seemed that despite the new wave
of enthusiasm that quickfist and toolbox had brought with them,
the BN were headed for a dead end to the rollercoaster careers.
It had been three months since the
members had appeared at an official BN function together. The
record buying public had sought solace in the interchangeable
pop acts which littered the billboard top 100 charts and the BN
looked like crawling back under the rocks from which they had
initially crawled out from. But help was to arrive in an unlikely
shape. The shape of a human person. His name was Lofty.
At a towering 8'11'' tall, Lofty
was a star of the NBA and a national celebrity. He had appeared
in over two thousand commercials, promoting everything from sneakers
to snakeskin pants and chinese food to chinese people. He, like
most Americans, had been a BN fan and when he had become disheartened
with his playboy lifestyle, he would play a BN CD and forget his
troubles. He figured that he owed the BN for all the quality music
and merchandise that had assaulted his ears and draned his wallet
over the past 6 years.
He organised a wet t-shirt competition
to bring the 5 BN members together, knowing as he did the BN's
love of wet stuff. The day of the competition arrived on the 7th
of May, 1999. Lofty had received personal replies from each BN
member expressing their excitement at the impending competition.
All except Quickfist who had received an invitation to an all-male
Lofty opened his car door to drive to the Georgia HooverDome,
site of the competition, three masked assailants attacked him
and beat him to the ground. Despite being parked outside the police
headquarters at the time, the police did not arrive for three
and a half hours, by which time Lofty had bled to death. The competition
was cancelled in honour of this remarkable star.
His funeral was a torrid affair with
all 5 BN members and several of the All-Stars (the BN subordinates)
causing a ruckus to match that at the funeral of Elvis Presly.
The coffin was smashed over the head of the Toolbox causing him
to suffer internal haemhorraghing and eventual brain damage. Cebral
used the battered corpse of his friend to outnumber and beat Dr.
Edgewild while Dr. Leo administered the dreaded last rites to
Quickfist. This was a move that the Doctor had perfected on the
tough streets of Marino whereby he would twist his victim's head
through 98 degrees (a kind of homage to his favorite band) and
slam it to the pavement, in this case the altar of the first methodist
church in New Hampshire. Police broke up the funeral and the BN
went their seperate ways, bruised and battered at each other's
So, what now for the BN? Will the
world ever see the undeniable creative genius of the BN back in
the charts? I posed the question to Cebral at his cotton-picking
ranch in the deep south. "Whether we get back together or
not...Well, I guess it's possible. The important thing is that
chinese people are stopped. I mean we all like rice but every
day? What the fuck is that about? Now they want me to eat square
watermelons or some shit. Not in my town, I won't. Fuck the BN
Crew. I havent got time for you. Fuck off home to Shanghai before
I napalm your ass. They're a legit threat, they're fucking sound,
sound." Cebral has clearly suffered the rock stars curse
- he is clinically insane.
I decided to track down the other
BN members to try and make sense of some of the rumours which
have been circling the BN carcass. Dr. Leo refused to comment
on a possible BN reunification but was able to tell me that he
has bedded over sixteen thousand women since the BN crew went
their seperate ways. He is a salesman in 'Bedz for Less' in Wisconsin.
He still writes lyrics but is resigned to the fact that no-one
really wants to hear them.
Quickfist and Toolbox treated me to an
exotic dance and said that they had yet to be approached with
the idea of a comeback single. When I asked Toolbox if the money
was right would he consider it, he said he would do anything for
money and licked his lips suggestively. I left the 'Greasy Goujon'
adult emporium and headed in search of Dr. Edgewild. I am yet
to find him as he hasn't been seen since his ill-fated trip to
the bermuda triangle. Should you have any information whatsoever
regarding the whereabouts of him, please contact me at the above
address. Any information which results in the successful interviewing
of Edgewild will be rewarded with a credit in my forthcoming book,
'The BN - Fuck you.'